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Blogs by MostlySane

The night before the big day was the scariest.

I hate packing. So, I left that to be done on that night. The nerves were kicking in and the fear was real.

Wanting something all your life feels so much different from having it.

When my first solo trip got confirmed, I couldn’t stop raving about it to everybody!

I Imagined everything from outfits for each day of the trip to meeting cute strangers on my flight.

But on the night before my flight, the nerves kicked in hard enough for me to question my decision.

Was I ready to take this trip all by myself?

I am not particularly the kind of person who scares easy.

Or so I told myself until this trip.

I woke up early on the big day. The house was empty because mamma-baba were out vacationing with their friends. I did my daily chores, cleaned the house, packed everything, and made a quick trip to the store to get everything else. Done.

I still had four hours till I left for the airport and the thoughts in my head were not being my friend.

I am used to mamma re-packing my bags for every trip I take. She knows exactly what I forgot to pack. So, I pack, she re-packs.

She wasn’t home this time.

I am also used to baba dropping me to the airport every time. No matter how busy he is, he always clears his schedule. Taking a cab to the airport while leaving for a vacation was just depressing.

Vrishank says I am spoilt. I disagree. As always.

I decided to get ready and leave for the airport earlier than I needed to. I was alone and scared at home. I’d rather be alone and scared at the airport.

I always thought I needed company. Every time I had to go to the mall, my first thought was listing the possible people I could quickly call to come hang out with me. Even a trip to the store to buy milk and eggs comprised of nervous-calling everybody I knew so I had someone to talk to till I got home. Every once in a while, I would tell myself to spend some me-time. Which was poor translation for Netflix and Stuff-your-face-till-you-get-sick. I always believed I was the sort of person who needs people around all the time. I wasn’t quite sure I would enjoy my company. Maybe that is why I dreaded this trip so much so suddenly.

Since I was at the airport way before time, I decided to have a mini-meal before I queue at the check-in counter. Went straight for momos and a strawberry cocktail. The momos were delicious but the drink sucked. I finished it all anyway because I paid way too much for it. Yep. I am Indian in every way like that.

It’s frustrating how I can’t remember the last flight I took from Mumbai which wasn’t delayed. This time the delay was of a whole 90 minutes. I knew this was going to come bite me in the ass and so it did. Quite expectantly I missed my connecting flight to Penang from Kualalampur. I don’t know what I was more upset about. Missing my flight or spending 3 more hours at the airport.

Anyhoo! Took the next flight out and checked into my hotel room in Penang by around 4pm!

I’ve always been a fan of long, quite baths. So, took one and hit the bed right away.

I realized I hadn’t slept in more than 24 hours. Counting my overnight flight and the delay! I got no sleep on the plane. There were 2 screaming kids in a 10-meter radius from my seat.

I KNOW!

Woke up at around 9:30 pm, changed and decided to get some dinner. Walked to the hotel’s restaurant only to find it completely empty. Not a soul in sight. According to the waiter, everyone in town wraps dinner before 8pm. Thank god, my hotel had a 24-HR restaurant.

Got myself a table by the pool facing the sea. This hotel was snazzy. It had a private beach. I couldn’t dare to get a table closer to the sea though. I’ve always feared water after sundown. The sea sounds so angry to me at nights.

This was officially my first meal in Penang. So, I decided to order a local delicacy.

‘Mamak Mee’ is what I settled for. Noodles, chicken and fish cakes. What’s not to like!

This was also my first meal with myself. Back home I never really go out to eat by myself.

And I don’t know why!

I stared into my phone for the first couple of minutes because I was so confused as to what the rest of my body is supposed to do when I am sitting at a table alone with food and nobody to talk to or no television to stare at.

The food was GOOD!

I eventually put my phone down and ate in silence.

Hmm. Not so bad.

Finished dinner, cleared my bill, thanked the waiter and walked away.

I didn’t quite feel like heading back to my room just yet. It was too late to walk around town alone. So, I took a stroll around the hotel property. The roaring waves made my walk in the opposite direction from the beach. Walked around for a bit. There was a pool, another restaurant, a parking spot and a condo. Spotted a bench in the condo and sat down for a bit.

Mumbai is always buzzing.  No matter what time of day. Cars, honks, people. Also, the weather back home is torturing.

However, it was surprisingly quiet on the streets here. An occasional motor-biker passed by but otherwise, I could still hear the waves. The weather felt great too. Not as humid as I had expected.

I sat on the bench with a blank mind. I had no thoughts. I stared at the street then at the parking lot and then back at the street. An occasional thought about home crossed my mind. But other than that, nothing really. I checked my watch, it said 11:20 pm.

Went back to staring.

Checked my watch again. It said 12:20 pm

WHAT!!

Killing time was always a task for me. I would deliberately reach places late because I hated waiting alone.

Not anymore, I guess!

That hour on the bench alone was the best part of my day.

To come to think of it, when was the last time you spent an hour being your selfish self? I have no memory of a time when I decided to think of myself and myself only and do everything that pleased nobody but me. I can’t even count the number of movies I missed or the restaurants I ditched because I didn’t have company.

I remember spending hours after lights-out, sitting on a stool in front of my mirror talking to myself about my day and going to bed happy because I knew my mind and my heart were on the same page. I have no idea why I stopped that exercise. People never believed me, but I never felt the need of having a sibling growing up because I loved myself as a child.

Nostalgically, I walked back to my room happier that night because now I knew I enjoyed my company. And finally, this solo trip seemed like the best decision ever!

Changed back into my PJs, got in bed, surfed the internet for a while and turned the lights off at 4:15 am.

And that was day one.

398 Comments

  4. happy life
    Reply

    Meee tooo… Can’t even count how many good movies and many more missed become i didn’t have the company.
    .. Thank you so much for this.

    Thank you for giving so much Positive vibes.. Love love

  5. loveforlife921
    Reply

    Loved it !! Most of the incidents you told Actually i could relate to. I too sometimes feel talking to myslef makes me much happy .I too feel sometimes I need someone by my side even when m out for buying some petty things and have ditched awesomee movies and some delicious restaurants..but your blog gave me an Inspiration .thank u .n love u n loveddd ur 1st blog ❤😙😍 waiting for the next one !!!

  6. Arthesh
    Reply

    Only one question ………when is the next one coming………I loved it so much can’t wait for the next one to cm …love love😍😍😍😍 anyways….. notifications of new blogs are turned on….

  7. Kunal Tagra
    Reply

    Your Dumdum got so inspired by it that now i think i too need a trip to meet myself. I absolutely loved it. The way you expressed your emotions prajakta di is as superb as always. Congratulations on this very first blog. Lots of love. #lovelove

  10. srworld97
    Reply

    Congratulations Prajakta on your first blog.” No amount of people can make you truly happy than your own company “- that’s what I got reading your blog. Best wishes for your upcoming blogs. From, S.u.m.i.t.r Your admirer.

  11. Anushka
    Reply

    I could actually picturise the whole story while reading it, and what an amazing thought of spending time with our self rather than waiting for company. Lovely article mostlysane Prajakta. Can’t wait to read more of your experiences and stories. All d best😘

  12. Apoorva b
    Reply

    Such a great narration. Felt like experienced all incidences by standing beside. You should keep on writing 😊

  14. Shreya Dave
    Reply

    Blog was great especially since it was written in a way that was easy to understand! It has a very human and relatable vibe. The only thing though, maybe try writing shorter blogs? Coz for people like us who follow u everywhere, we will definitely wanna read the entire thing but for someone who doesn’t know you, maybe they might lose interest mid-way. Just my opinion… Love Love!

  16. rimasweb
    Reply

    Wowww! I am scared of going out alone to. But after reading this i feel i can do it.
    Also it will be so kind of you if you can check my writing too, I do write sometimes. ❤️🔥🌈😘🎉

  17. Julia
    Reply

    Amazing piece of writing…..there’s a place where u mentioned the time as 12:20 pm…. But I believe that u were talking about 12:20 in the morning….. Nd that’s supposed to be “12:20am”…..that’s the only thing….. But otherwise it’s stupendous….. Keep up the good work!💯 #lovelove

  21. Riya Mehandiratta
    Reply

    Thnks prajakta di fo sch an awsm blog…it made me feel like i feel d same each tym from d day i ws seperated from my skul buddies …as i grew up i realised i hve to walk alone…but sm tyms v ol need company…i dunn 9 how to make close frnz
    ..m frank so i tok to evrybdy but i cnt force any1 to go vid me smwhr or i hesitate to ask dem to hang out vid me…pls put a blog fo dese silly confusions too…anyways…lv u prajakta 😘😘
    Ur dum dums r waiting fo u to cm new delhi😘

  25. Ravina Malekar
    Reply

    Everything is so perfect about this blog, font style, font size, whole color combination of the blog. Neat, clean and southing. Content was simple and up to the mark. You have worked a lot on this. Big fat thumbs up Prajakta..!!!

  27. Moonga
    Reply

    I think I cn relate with u in all the aspects Prajakta Di
    Ty for sharing this experience
    Ll surely go for a solo trip asap

  28. Kavya
    Reply

    I am soo happy that you are getting to do this……………congratulations…..may this blog be a great success……we dum dums will always support you…..love you Prajakta..💕

  29. Vrushali
    Reply

    Hi! The look and the feel of the blog are amazing! The first article is really well-written and despite it being a long read, it could easily engage me! I really loved how you focussed entirely on what went inside your head in detail. It gave a real perspective of what a solo trip would do to you.
    Just a couple of typos that I want to point: (Sorry but the lawyer in me kept nudging me too hard!)’
    Quiet bath’ not quite bath.
    Made ‘me’ walk in the opposite direction.
    Keep writing! It is really therapeutic and you have a natural flow! Love love!

  30. Shalini Tawde
    Reply

    Liked it . Especially the line i went to bed happily coz my heart and mind were on the same page .. and many more .This was a good one . Waiting for more .

  33. deeba
    Reply

    It is good…i enjoyed…ur first blog is very nice.it wz gud to knw ur solo travel experience, and ur blog design is also very good…i wonder hw someone cn b excellent in everything… 😘

  40. vishakhadamani
    Reply

    Prajakta you have always surprised us with the different ways you try to connect with your lovely dumdums love you and will always support you no matter what you do. More power to you. Be it watching your videos or reading your blog makes us feel relaxed. Hope to see more blogs, pictures and videos of you.
    We love you💝💝💕💕💖💖💓💓💟💟
    -DUMDUM

  42. Swapnali More
    Reply

    Hey Prajakta, loved this blog. I could picture your first day and would love to go on a trip alone sometime. Love <3

  46. Nandini
    Reply

    Just as you said….these WERE the awesome 10 minutes of my life…reading your blog….can’t stop smiling…and seriously…one needs to enjoy oneself’s company….i too missed on a lot of things trying to find company…but not on anymore….thanks for this article… Thanks for the positivity….love love

  47. Hetal
    Reply

    Article is amazing, i was literally seeing myself while reading, and i know how beautiful travelling with yourself is. You are amazing. Keep writing…love you

  48. Divya Kutal
    Reply

    Ur first blog…on point..👍👍 loved it 😍 waiting for ur next soo eagerly..superb…may God bless you..keep it up ✌👍😙 love love ❤❤

  50. jeel
    Reply

    That was just so gud i remember the time when i went to pune for a competition although i was not alone i had my team with me but i had to still manage everything alone as parents were not there but it was really such a wonderful time💖
    This blog was really gud. Waiting for the next 💚😘love u

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